From the beginning of this book Michael Thompson refers to research and also reminds us that "...it's important to remember that every boy already contains all the answers, every parent is on the cutting edge of research, and the truth about boys that we seek is all right there, unfolding before us, available to us, in the boy we've got. We don't have to wait for science to explain boys in order to be good parents for them." (64)
He talks extensively about the 60 significant differences between males and femails and will spend time in this book detailing those that seem "highly relevant to how we teach and raise boys." (xiv) But, he makes clear that the nature realities are matched by the nurture realities. "Training and experience actively change the bio-chemistry of the brain." (p.xv)
In these early chapters Thompson lays a foundation that is critical to educators of boys of any age. He feels we have lost trust in boy development. he discusses both the pace of that development and the arc of that development. In fact, this book is clearly a call to arms, begging us all not just to understand boys, but more importantly, to enjoy boys!
Some of the following information is shared in the first two chaptes with references to some very interesting studies that led to this knowledge:
1. Boys are more biologically vulnerable than girls from the beginning of life (in the womb) until the end of life. (5)
2. Four foundation points for successful parenting (teaching) of boys: a. Accept that boys and girls are different. b. Love the end product of boyhood ... becoming a man. c. Appreciate the unique individual who is your son (student). d. Surrender lofty expectations of making a man of your boy -- nature does that; our role is nurture. (22)
3. Boys are more vulnerable to disruption in attachment and if this problem occurs it is associated later with anger/violence.
4. It is a myth that boys are stronger than girls emotionally.
5. Gender differences physiologically and neurologically are the result of the hormonal bath in utero. (58)
6. Boys grow slower and have greater variability boy to boy.
7. Visual system organized differently -- girls seem to be pre-wired to focus on faces while boys seem to focus on moving objects. Boys like different colors and have different arrangement of rods/cones/retina thickness. (62)
8. Girls hear better than boys and more of the range of the human voice. (62)
9. Girls learn language more quickly and use language more effectively (related to 8). (63)
The following quotes were important to our discussion, I thought:
"Our fears about boy life are not helpful to our sons. When we panic about the fact that they aren't reading in kindergarten, it demoralizes them; when they sense that we do not have faith in their development, it undermines them. They need us to see the promise in them; they need us to be excited about them as boys." (xix)
"The cultural expectations for boys in the United State are comparatively narrow and cause many boys to struggle painfully with the feeling that they are lacking in some basic boy way because they do not enjoy what boys are 'supposed' to feel and enjoy. It is difficult to be a boy in this culture because the demands for toughness and athletic prowess are so pervasive and many messages about being male are so mixed. Throughout this book I will address how to understand the pressures of cultural expectation and how to deal with them, especially if you don't happen to have a son who fits them. And most of our sons do not." (21)
"With so much to 'do' to make your son into who he 'should be,' when do you have time to let him teach you about who he is?" (25 ... and keep reading the next paragraph)
"Antoine de Saint-Exupery, the French poet, wrote, 'To live is to be slowly born.'" (27)
At first glance this part of the book seems to be for new parents and maybe early childhood teachers, but no, it is such important foundational knowledge to all the school-age boys. For this conversation to begin, you need to comment, pose questions, respond to each other's comments, and keep reading. Check back every five days of so for more.
You will notice a link to Michael Thompson's media page in an early June 27 post. Please go there to find articles, audio clips, and video clips on this topic. And, get deeper, go further, and continue reading. BH
8.
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